Teen Talk
Supporting Your Child During the College Decision-Making Process
By Marian Higgins
Jan/Feb 2008

Choosing a college can be overwhelming. Parental support during this process is important and can make a difficult decision manageable. As your child prepares to decide on a college, here are some tips that can help you support and guide her through this process.

Review the total package
When your child receives the official admissions letter, your first response will be to jump for joy. With much excitement in the air, do not forget to pay attention to the details of the admissions letter and the financial aid award letter. Make sure you understand the terms of the admission. For example, the admissions letter may state that your child needs to take remedial (developmental) classes. In this case, you will want to confirm the number of remedial classes to be taken and ask how taking these courses will affect the student’s timeline for graduation.

Discuss financial responsibilities and expectations
The cost of tuition, room and board is one of the major concerns for students and their families. Shortly after an admissions offer is presented, your child will also receive their financial aid award letter. Make sure that you understand the amount awarded and the terms of the award (i.e. the length of time for receiving a specified scholarship). Call the financial aid office if you are unsure of how to interpret the letter.

Additionally, discuss with your child the amount of money you are willing to contribute towards her college education. If you are expecting your child to contribute, you should communicate that as well. Do not allow the cost of college to deter your child from attending. One option is for her to attend a less expensive college to complete general education courses and then, she could possibly transfer to another college later.

Offer encouragement during disappointment
After submitting several college admissions applications, the unexpected may occur – your child receives an admission denied letter or she does not receive enough financial aid. While disheartening, it is a part of life for which you will want to prepare your child. To help her cope, make sure she has identified some alternative college choices. If she experiences being denied admission into her top college choice, she may want to contact the college and inquire about the reason for not being admitted. Many institutions have a waitlist and she should ask about her status on the waitlist. Ask an admissions office representative if it is possible for re-application to the institution and how to best prepare in the meantime for the re-application process.

The alternative colleges selected by your child may turn out to be ideal for her. Encourage her to review her alternatives and to consider them as a possibility. Each year, many students are denied admissions into their first choices; however, many find that their alternative selections provide positive and rewarding experiences.

Allow your child to make the decision
Choosing a college is a family affair. It is important that all involved parties are satisfied with the final decision; however, your child should ultimately be the one to select the college she plans to attend. You can help your child make the decision by asking her questions that will help her form her own opinions. For example, you may want to ask her the following questions: “What do you like or dislike about this college?” and “How do you think this college captures your interest?” Remember, deciding on a college is one of many decisions that your child will have to make during this time. Why not help her learn how to make informed decisions while she is still living with you?

Affirm the decision
After your child makes a final decision, assure her that she has made the right decision. Discourage her from comparing her choice to those of her friends and family if it will cause her to doubt her ability to make a decision. Celebrate this victory by treating her to dinner, a movie, or college paraphernalia. Provide her with the encouragement she needs to feel comfortable with her decision.

These are just some tips to encourage you as you support your child in selecting a college. Remember to stay positive through this process and your child will ultimately choose the best college to attend.

Marian Higgins is a certified counselor who works as a career counselor at The University of Georgia. She is a former a college admissions officer and is a practicing educational consultant.