Feature/General
A Good Night’s Sleep
By Martha Wegner
Jul/Aug 2008

Let me admit my bias: there is nothing in this world I love so much as sleep. I wish everyone else loved to sleep as much as I do. I think we’d all be a whole lot nicer to each other if we had all just gotten a good night’s rest.

My children know my strong conviction that a good night’s sleep is a cure for all that ails you. My teenage daughter, Christine, comes in at 11:00 (at night! – way past the time I pull up the covers). This is her nightly hour of distress, the hour when she needs to talk about all her problems big and small, real and imagined. I tell her, “Go to bed. Get a good night’s sleep. When you are well rested, everything will look a lot better. Then we can talk.” She rolls her eyes, accuses me of “blowing her off” and “not caring,” and she walks out of the room, scowling. Really, I do care. I care enough to encourage her to get enough sleep so she can see the world through clear eyes the next day.

It turns out that there is some support for my crusade for sleep. In her book, Sleepless in America, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka relates her findings that a lack of sleep in today’s children is the root of many of their behavioral problems. She says, “New research has demonstrated the key role adequate sleep plays in the ability to control one’s emotions, behavior and attention span. Without sufficient sleep, your child’s performance, mood, focus and ability to work with others deteriorate rapidly. Power struggles begin with a lousy night’s sleep. Even the most compliant child starts to lose it over the little things.”

See? I told you so.
“If your child is misbehaving,” Kurcinka continues, “it’s very likely that he or she is crying for sleep. Sleep deprived children can include babies who are sleeping less than 14-16 hours in a 24-hour period; toddlers sleeping less than 13 hours, preschoolers less than 12 hours, school-age children less than 10 hours or adolescents sleeping less than 9.25 hours a night. And until your child gets more sleep, no punishment, no discipline strategy will stop the challenging behaviors. Sound sleep is a key to good behavior. The problem is that children rarely tell you that they are tired. Instead, they get wired, which escalates into a frenzy of energy. It’s as though their bodies are out of control, and they are.”

How can you tell if your child is sleep deprived? Kurcinka lists the following signs:

• Difficulty managing emotions
• Difficulty controlling the body and impulses (think hitting and throwing things)
• Inability to stay focused and to perform well
• Difficulty getting along with others

Does this sound to you like the characteristics of ADHD? According to Kurcinka, “Research demonstrates that perhaps as many as 20 percent of children who have been diagnosed with ADHD actually have a sleep disorder.”

Still not sure that lack of sleep may be at the root of at least some of your child’s behavior problems? Think back to the last time your child came home from a sleepover. Bet that was a day that you wouldn’t want to repeat. Most likely your child was crabby, uncooperative and easily frustrated at the tiniest slight. All because of lack of sleep. Imagine that your child is chronically sleep deprived, just by an hour or two every night. According to Kurcinka, “The impact on performance of one hour of sleep deprivation accumulated over eight days can be as significant as being totally deprived of sleep for 24 hours.”

If all this sounds like your child could use a little more shut-eye, don’t despair. You are not alone. In fact, according to the National Sleep Foundation’s 2004 “Sleep in America” poll, 69 percent of all children experience one or more sleep problems. And thank goodness for you, the experts are there to help us.

In the meantime, don’t forget to get your own eight hours of sleep. Trust me: everything will look a lot better in the morning after a good night’s sleep. And you will be a much nicer parent.

Martha Wegner is a freelance writer and mother of two.