Feature/General
Cyber Bullying
By Brittany Boyer
Nov/Dec 2006

It is a good idea to have the computer in a central location in your home.  A computer in your child's bedroom often encourages negligent behavior.

When most parents hear the term "cyber bullying" they usually get a puzzled look on their faces. After all, the phrase is relatively new, but the problem has been around for years. In the age of the internet, cell phones, MySpace, chat rooms and text messaging, most children are "wired" the majority of their day. With these new communication outlets, children are finding new ways in which to torment others. Kids no longer fear the playground or the lunchroom. Instead, bullies are hiding behind computer screens and cell phones to harass their peers.

"Cyber bullying is defined as online material that threatens or raises concerns about violence against others, suicide or other self‑harm. There are two kinds: Direct threats are actual threats to hurt someone or commit suicide. Distressing material provides clues that the person is emotionally upset and may be considering hurting someone, hurting him/herself or committing suicide." (As defined at cyberbully.org)

While the actual definition might be scary, the numbers are even more startling. I‑Safe America, an organization promoting web safety, surveyed 1500 students in 4th through 8th grade, and found that 42% have been bullied online while 53% of students admitted to saying something mean or hurtful to someone else online.

Cyber bullying can entail a variety of things using various communication outlets. In some cases, the tormenting has taken place through websites specifically crafted to harass individual students and point out their flaws. In others, a camera phone was used to snap an inappropriate or embarrassing photo in a locker room of a student undressing and then instantly sent to friends with a hurtful message attached. Others have created false identities in instant messaging programs in order to deceive someone into releasing private information.

The main reason cyber bullying is so easy to do and get away with is because of the anonymity. A student can hide behind a computer screen or cell phone and act out their hatred because they aren't face to face with their victim, thus giving them more courage. When people feel as if they are invisible it removes the fear of being caught or facing social rejection. In many cases, the online predator doesn't even know the person they are victimizing. It is simply a random act of anger and hatred.

It is a well known fact that bullying can scar someone emotionally and physically for the rest of their life. This tormenting can result in a person being depressed, having low self‑esteem, low achievement levels, anger, hatred and even suicide. For many, it is simply too much to handle every day of their life. What makes this new "online" bullying even worse is that victims never have an escape; the Internet provides bullies with a 24/7 outlet for their harassment.

As a parent, it is extremely important for you to have an open relationship with your child as you discuss these issues. Talk to your child about their online behavior and discuss "cyber bullying" directly with them. Let them know you have done research on the subject and cite specific examples of harassment that you have read about. They may not know the term, but know of situations in which bullying has occurred. Ask them whether or not they know of any related situations going on with their friends or at school.

It is also important to set up Internet use guidelines with your child. It is a good idea to have the computer in a central location in your home. A computer in your child's bedroom often encourages negligent behavior because they feel like they can get away with it. If your child is the victim, you might not ever know about the problem because you are unable to see your child's reaction to hurtful material if they are in their bedroom. Also, make sure you tell your child to never reveal personal information online to anyone: where they go to school, home address, schedules, personal characteristics, etc.  Again, cyber bullying is not just between classmates. It could be someone your child has never been in contact with before.

If you do find incriminating information on your child's computer, don't delete it. Save the information in order to help you identify the problem. One of the first things you can do is simply ask the bully to stop in a non‑violent tone. If this doesn't work, most websites have strict policies concerning harassment. Usually, the site's contact information is found at the bottom of the homepage.  Another way to combat this type of behavior is to help your child ignore it. Set up filters that prohibit your computer from receiving information from certain sites or users. Monitor what sites they are visiting by searching the 'history' tab on your internet screen. This feature allows you to see what sites your child has visited within the last few months. The most important thing to remember is to stay up to date with your child's online activity. Let them have some responsibility when it comes to using the computer, but always talk to them about what type of sites and programs they are visiting. Remember that communication is the most important thing in dealing with these types of situations. For more information on cyber bullying, visit cyberbully.org. Also, check out the new book by Nancy E. Willard, M.S., J.D., Responding to the Challenge of Online Social Cruelty, Threats, and Distress. 

Brittany Boyer is an Athens Parent intern and a senior at the University of Georgia graduating this semester from the College of Family and Consumer Sciences.